Lent

I have just brought shame to my own self: I'm a Catholic, yet I don't know the rules of Lent. My roommate who doesn't go to church knows better than me.

Well, the truth is, I really don't know. All I know is that I have to give up something that I like, and I have to fast on every Friday.

Actually, I find it really weird. I do believe in the existence of God, and whenever possible, I want to do more of good deeds than bad deeds. I agree with most of the teachings - to love one another, even your enemies - even though I'm unable to carry out the teachings in real life. Mentally, I understand what I should do and what I should not do, but putting it into action is too difficult for me.

Which is why I'm not a saint nor a holy person.And I'm not entirely ashamed of it, because it just proves that I'm a human.

In any case, I'm giving up reading manga for 40 days. It tortures me more than not eating meat, since I generally don't like how my dorm caterer prepares the meats.

This makes me ponder again. Sometimes when I read the Bible, I can't help but to get angry. Yes, angry at the wordings and the ideas written in the Bible which is supposed to have no flaws. I find too many contradictory passages. Like God destroying other nations instead of forgiving them, or slaying the Greeks during Moses' period. At the same time, there is also a "thou shall not kill" saying going on.

I guess it's pretty logical why people do jihad. Even in the Bible, it is said that God destroys those who are disobedient. Doesn't it make a good sense when the followers of God "help carry out His mission"?

As controversial as it can get, I think now religion is a good brainwashing tool to be used. The problem with religion is that THERE IS NO ABSOLUTE TRUTH. Passages are written by humans, and as perfect as any humans can ever be, emotions often take over the truth. All the religious teachings so far are made based on inferences.

And again, it's not that I don't believe in the existence of God. I very believe in his existence. But I don't really believe in rituals.

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Forgotten Dream

At time passes, I left behind my dreams that used to be one of my biggest prides in my life.

I had forgotten how it feels to be above the clouds. My self-imposed modesty keeps me low for quite some time. No matter how I look at it, I always feel that there are always people who are far beyond me in terms of natural capability to excel.

To me who doesn't really like comparing myself to others, gauging the standard is a difficult thing to do. The biggest reason why I keep saying "I don't know" when people ask me about my friends' grades is because I hate to ask what their grades are. Knowing that I have done my best matters to me more than being above the others.

But does my opinion matter when the majority of the world thinks that people should be judged by comparison?

In any case, one that I thought of dearly reminded me once again of my forgotten dream. I was once again reminded for the reason of choosing the current path that I am taking right now, and once again my self confidence builds up. I know I can do it.

I have people who believe in me.

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No "Loittering" Pact

I had a pact with my roommate. No browsing of random web pages, no facebook, no manga, no anime... basically, our laptops and the internet service must only be used for checking emails, doing school-related homework, and listening to music.

The pact lasted for 4 days.

Now that I think about it, it was a big torture to me. It just shows how much I have become overly dependent on my laptop to serve my daily needs - to keep me from getting bored, to be specific.

Everything's pretty much done in front of my laptop. With the Internet, I can almost do everything (other than eating, sleeping, exercising and some other activities).

It's scary to think that I can't live without a computer and the Internet now. Thanks to these, I don't watch the TV anymore. I don't listen to the radio. I don't read the newspaper anymore. Everything's available on my screen!

I'm amazed how I used to be very independent of computers back in early 1990s. I wasn't even allowed to touch the computer because I might break it without knowing.

Well, both my roommate and I managed to constrain ourselves from breaking the pact. Which saved the both of us from 50 sit ups and 15 push ups. LOL.

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9 Words Women Use

I got this from a forwarded e-mail:

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That' s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F**k you!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.


I don't find them true at all. Or maybe I don't fit into the standard of women in general. LOL.

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Lagging

I hate to think that I'm lagging behind the schedule. Unexpected things happened, and I'm back at the apartment at 2 am. My lab report materials are still messily scattered on the table, welcoming me, as if it's crying "Finish me up!". And I softly whispered back, "No, honey. See you later."

Really. If you tell me to wake up at 7 in the morning again, I don't know if I can ever wake up. Give me a break... This week's been tiring. I know some people sleep less than me, and they may even have more stuffs to do than me. But they've been in college for longer time than me. It's just like how I used to squeeze my brain really hard to multiply 2 by 2, and now it's just a piece of cake. The same concept applies. No matter how they phrase their opinions on how simple my tasks actually are, they are no simple matter to me.

I'd probably share the same opinion 1-2 years later.

I can't really say I wasted my time, but when my planned schedule's been changed, I became somehow uneasy. I'm scared that I won't have enough time to do what I'm supposed to do.

It's a miracle to see how people can actually have fun on Fridays. I'd get most of the things done on Friday night so I can have a long, peaceful sleep on Saturday. I get the feeling that people see me as a total nerd, when in fact I spend just as much time playing as they do. It's just that the order is different: I do my works first before I play.

And now that my schedule's been put into a haphazard state, I lost my chance to draw a Valentine's Day card to post at DeviantArt. I had so many ideas running in my head, but... time isn't really kind to me.

I guess I'll get some sleep after finishing the 2nd page of the lab report.

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Sad Valentine's Day?

It's not because I don't have a bf. It's because there are less people to exchange gifts with.

I like it when we exchange chocolates. At the end of Valentine's Day, I'd normally gather all the chocolates I got from everyone, took a commemorative photo of the chocolates, and savor them. Ferrero Rochers were always the first to be welcome to my stomach xD My next all time favorite was Time Out, followed by Kit Kat. Oh... I miss all those T__T

There were times I give out flowers, too. It was quite cheap to buy roses in a dozen, so I'd give each stalk to my closest friends.

And of course, I never forget to write cards and notes for my friends :)

Now that I'm here, it seems that I have become less charitable. Probably because I don't go to hypermarts as often as I used to when I was in Singapore. I don't spend as much money as I did for groceries nowadays. It's probably because I don't have my personal kitchen. I'll probably visit hypermarts once in a week. I love shopping for groceries!

It's sad (for me) that Valentine's Day falls on Saturday. I can't give out the chocolates to my friends, because either they live too far from me, or they're out.

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Drenched!

Wonderful. The rain poured so heavily today and I didn't bring my umbrella.

At first I loathed so much that the rain made me wet. But after getting all soaked from top to bottom, I felt so good and refreshed! It's pretty cold, though... :/

Well, the weather's really really really weird. I've been hearing that January and February should have been the peaks of winter, but it's really warm now, as if it's around late August or so. And it seems that many South East Asian countries are being flooded, too.

Is this really the impact of global warming...?

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Dean's List

Well... I'm in the Dean's List, meaning that I was in top 20% of my college.

Which adds up to my satisfaction level, at least for now :) Even though there may be a lot of other people getting this award, it reassures me that I had done a good job last semester.

I had fun with today's raw food processing lab. I was making a tomato sauce out of fresh tomatoes. I didn't imagine that a bagful of tomatoes gives only less than 1/8 of a jar. The smell of raw tomatoes reminded me again of my failed attempt to make a spaghetti sauce out of fresh tomatoes. Now I get it - I just need to be more patient the next time I make the sauce. I was going on the right direction.

I've finally gotten a driver's license. It doesn't really mean that I'll be going out more frequently. It just means that I'm pretty much saved from depending on other people on groceries next semester. Haha. well, you know me. I don't really like bothering people with my daily business.

The food lab (FSHN 131) is getting more and more interesting. Last week's lab was pretty fun - we "experimented" with sauce-making. Tomorrow's lab is going to be a pasta lab. I can't wait for it!

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Something wrong with my eyes

I read the title "Yeast Bread" as "Yeast Bastard".

Maybe I'm a little stressed with what's going on right now. Just a little. Haha :P

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